I’ve been in situations that would have been impossible to conceive in my younger days. I used to pull a little trick where in those situations I’d say to myself, “That’s very interesting!
” Sometimes I’d have to say it three or four times but it kept me from passing judgment on a different culture. If you do, you won’t be happy and he/she won’t either. There are heads and tails on a coin but in the end, there is only one coin and you can’t have just the heads or the tails.
They have lived not in China but in expat China, and expected their Chinese mate to adapt to their situation and not the other way around.
This can later cause problems in the relationship when dealing with in laws and other Chinese in social situations. You don’t have to “go native” but you do have to respect the native traditions.
The older generation was more conservative in terms of sexual mores while the younger generation (one child) went from their first kiss to well beyond in a relatively short period.
I am hoping this is more of a “reader contribution” forum rather than just one man’s opinion, so feel free to chime in with your own experiences and observations.Eventually, I’d get used to it and it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Cultures are the same, you accept them as a whole and not in parts.In fact, that applies not just to cultures but also to relationships; there are no “good” and “bad” points to another person, just different manifestations of the same intrinsic qualities.I know quite a few divorces that later took place because of this situation.When I lived in Shanghai, many of the women in my office were curious about my marriage and how my wife and I got along, being from different cultures.