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With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most.To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize these 10 insights. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after they're married... " So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them.Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person.Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you.Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together.

When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy.This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal mate -- two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals. You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly.Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions.People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. in philosophy and was ordained a rabbi in Jerusalem in 1982.Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. Related Video: Four Ways to Marry the Wrong Person Rabbi Dov Heller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who holds Masters Degrees in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University and in Contemporary Theology from Harvard University. He is director of the Aish Ha Torah Counseling Center in Los Angeles, founder of the Relationship Institute, and runs a private practice specializing in adult psychotherapy, marriage counseling and personal guidance.

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